Giving Advice

Imagine that you are drawing a picture, Felling Exited and inspired. A freind stop by looking over your shoulders, and comment," I need some yellow in the right-hand corner." What is your likely responce? Do you eagerly agree to add yelow at the corner of the drawing? Or, as many people would, do you wish the advice-giverwould mind his wn bussiness? Even when advice is well meant, it can cause trouble for both the giver and the taker.

Perhaps the most important reason to resist giving advice is that even the best advice can be wrong. For Example, suppose that a freind of yours is uncertain wether to take afternoon swimming lessons or join a soccer league. You advice," do soccer, that way we can be ona team together." Thats a kindly idea, but what if your freind, upon joining a soccer league, finds that he lags along in team sports, rarely getting the ball, and prefered solo sports? Playing soccer may have been a good advice for someone else, but wasn't suited to that invidual.

Almost as important is the fact that even if your advice sounds, it may not beaprreciated. Suppose your younger brother is struggling with a math that you, a seventh grader, and easily solve. you make a suggestion:" try dividing." You innoncetly meant to help, but your brother immediatly wails," mom he's bothering me again." you find yourself in trouble. giving advice was not worth it.

A third reason is that if you get into a advice habit, you may well begin thinking of yourself as someone who knows best. Such as an attitude can place both character and freindship at risk, because people tend to resent those who try to run thier lives for them. Equillity and sharing, not superiority and need, are the best bases for freindship

When advice justified? my Philosophy is to risk giving advice only when someone ask it directly, or, a rarer ocassion, if i think someone is about to get hurt. Even in such cases, however, try to keep your advice modest and helpful not bossy.

In conclusion, Try most of the time to resist the temptatioon to give advice; There is simply too much that can go wrong.